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The Government’s tips to employees to survive the shutdown

Posted on January 21, 2019 by johnzakour

A satirical list of the governments hints to their employees affected by the shutdown.

2 Replies to “The Government’s tips to employees to survive the shutdown”


    Sell Blood: you help your fellow man, get a cookie and some cash.

    Cut the cord on cable: get with the times

    Volunteer at a soup kitchen: sneak some food on the side

    Remember toilet paper has two sides!

    There is no rule that you must have clean socks.

    Consider the exciting career of dog walking: good exercise and dogs are cute

    Studies show reducing calories makes you live longer: cut a meal or two

    We hear nice things about Amway

    Paper routes are making a comeback!

    Could Avon be calling?

    Test subjects are always in demand!

    Bet on the Patriots they are America’s team and Brady won’t let you down

    Return all the bottles you’ve been hoarding

    Learn a trade might we suggest wall building

    Lower your expectations you work for the government

  2. A Comparison of Presidents

    President Trump tweets his vitriol each morning assigning demeaning nicknames to those he does not like or who disagree with him. Policy failures are always blamed on someone else without taking responsibility for what he said or started, and while making up “facts” to support his policies, he calls true fact checks “fake news” to mislead the public.
    Calculate Risks of Getting Involved
    In the spring of 1902, 147,000 coal miners walked out on strike from the mines. Teddy Roosevelt was president. J.P. Morgan controlled mining and coal transportation throughout the nation. John Mitchell had become president of the recently formed United Mine Workers. Since it was may, concern had not reached the public eye for the next winter. Roosevelt hoped the two parties would reach an agreement but did not believe that as President he had legal authority to intervene. However, he was “thoroughly awake” to the potential perils of the situation. If people were hurt, their leader would be held accountable whether or not he had the legal authority to act.
    So it happened that many months before the situation hit crises proportions, Roosevelt was proactively seeking ways to intervene, to create a position of solid ground from which to lead. Rather than rush in, however, he demonstrated a methodical, understated, patient demeanor at odds with his storied headlong leadership style.
    Secure a Reliable Understanding of the Facts, Causes, and Conditions
    Roosevelt had his labor commissioner do a detailed report to obtain “all facts possible relating to the present controversy.” After examining the pressures exerted on both sides, he proposed a six-month experimental reduction from ten to nine working hours a day to see how productivity was affected. He recommended that when workers were paid by the ton, two inspectors, one representing the operators, one the miners, should be on hand to weigh the coal. Significantly, he urged the creation of “a joint committee on conciliation, composed of representatives of the operators and the new union.
    Remain Uncommitted in the Early Stages
    The secretary of labor reminded the president that the report had been made for his “personal information,” not because he had any responsibility for the situation. The secretary of labor and the Republican party did not want the president to intervene to the detriment of the more power coal owners.
    Use History to Provide Perspective
    Roosevelt had inherited a family trust which had accumulated wealth in the new industrial age as successful merchants, bankers and real estate magnates. However, he had fashioned a different path from that imagined by noblesse oblige. From his past duties in civic responsibility, as a soldier and as a working cowboy in the West, he had confronted a larger vision of American diversity and had developed a more complicated conception of public responsibility and leadership. He looked to Lincoln who saw in the supreme years of the nation’s struggle, “the men and forces” at play “were yet the same in their in their infinite variety and kind.” He was denounced by extremists on one side of not going “far enough” and on the other side by going “too far.”
    Reevaluate Options; be ready to adapt as a situation escalates.
    It appeared to Roosevelt that the coal operators were in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act but not to his attorney general or Republican advisers.
    Be Ready to Grapple with Reversals, abrupt intrusions that can unravel Plans.
    As the relatively peaceful strike had entered its twelfth week , a single violent incident at a colliery in the coal town of Shenandoah threatened to upend all hopes for a peaceful solution.
    Waiting to see how the situation would unfold, Roosevelt remained vigilantly but quietly at home. His patients was rewarded. The following day, John Mitchell traveled to the site of the violence. Ten thousand miners met him, but whatever they expected, here is what they got. “The one among you who violates the law is the worst enemy you have. .I want to impress upon you the importance of winning this strike. If you win… there will be no more strikes, but if you lose the strike, you lose your organization.”
    Because Roosevelt did not rush in, because John Mitchell did swiftly and effectively respond, an uncertain peace was restored once again in the anthracite region.

    Frame the Narrative

    Fall was approaching and no one could stockpile coal for winter heating. The public was now alarmed. Even hospitals could not get coal to heat, and railroads were having difficulty acquiring sufficient amounts to meet their schedules.
    Roosevelt had been seriously injured in a horse drown carriage accident on the way to make a speech. He had been thrown thirty feet into the air bruising, scraping and damaging his right leg. His body guard was killed. Typically, he brushed himself off and went on to make his speech. The next day he traveled to his next appointment in another town and state and made a speech. By this time his leg had swollen greatly and had to be operated. The doctors demanded he return to Washington, elevate the leg and not move.
    Roosevelt couldn’t go to the opposing parties, so he decided to invite them to him. At once, a din of protest sounded in the conservative press, which characterized the intervention as a dangerous “un-American” experiment.
    “It was very kind of you to come here at my invitation,” Roosevelt hailed his guests as they filed into the second-floor of the parlor room of the temporary White House. “You will excuse me, I can’t get up to greet you.” Seated in a wheelchair in the corner of the room, Roosevelt was dressed in a “blue-striped bathrobe belted around him”
    Roosevelt opened the meeting by reading a carefully scripted statement laying the ground rules for their discussion and acquiring permission from each for the White House stenographer to transcribe the meeting (the first ever white House transcribed meeting).
    “there are three parties affected by the situation in the anthracite trade — the operators, the miners, and the general public.” He assured them that he championed “neither the operators nor the miners..” He spoke for “the general public.” “I do not invite a discussion of your respective claims and positions. I appeal to your spirit of patriotism, to the spirit that sinks personal considerations and makes individual sacrifices for the general good.”
    The spokesman for the coal owners responded “The duty of the hour is not to waste time negotiating with the fomenters of this anarchy in insolent defiance of the law but to do as was done in the war of rebellion, restore the majesty of law, the only guardian of a free people.” Looking directly at the president, he charge that if the administration refused to send federal troops…then “government is a contemptible failure.”
    Keep Temper in check
    From start to finish, Roosevelt later wrote, the operators “did everything in their power to goad and irritate Mitchell, becoming fairly abusive in their language toward him, and insolent to me. I made no comment on what they said, for it seemed to me that it was very important that I should (keep my temper and be drawn into no squabble).”
    The president was impressed and astonished by John Mitchell, the union president, how, regardless of provocation, “Mitchell behaved with great dignity and moderation.” Mitchell stated in the end”…I want to say, Mr.President that I feel very keenly the attack made upon me and my people, but I came here with the intention of doing nothing and saying nothing that would affect reconciliation.”

    Document Proceedings Each Step of the Way
    As the coal operators stormed out of the room, they rushed to the waiting reporters outside to make their arguments, state their blame on the miners and attack Theodore Roosevelt for interfering. What they may have forgotten, was that the stenographer had taken down every word in the meeting. That was quickly printed into a pamphlet and distributed to the press before their deadline. The public opinion, already under stress of fear of freezing in the winter, was resolutely turned against the coal owners by their own doing.
    Ultimately, both the governor of Pennsylvania agreed to deploy state troops to open the mines, while Roosevelt proposed his strategy of “last resort”, which was to organize an invasion of the coal fields with ten thousand regular army troops under a “first rate genera.” He was not going to let citizens, the sick, the poor and the disabled freeze over arguments relating to profit.
    The parties finally came to the negotiating table and the strike was negotiated and resolved.

    Trump? Roosevelt? Two different stiles of leadership.
    (the Roosevelt story was taken from the outstanding book by Doris Kearns Goodwin, Leadership in Turbulent Times, ISBN 978-1-4767-9592-8)

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